I was blessed (and honored) to share an evening with a new friend named Tom who suffered from multiple sclerosis for many years. Five weeks after his wedding, he was having a normal day when he noticed his foot felt like pins and needles. A few days later the disease had spread to a point where it nearly incapacitated him. The onset was so rapid that his neurologist gave him little hope for survival. The disease progressed and He was confined to a wheelchair for many years.
All those years while he was in a wheelchair, God used him powerfully to release healing and miracles for others. He learned about healing and miracles from John Wimber and was one of the original members of the first Vineyard church in Phoenix. He went from one healing service to another and saw hundreds of people healed of every kind of disease. Yet each night he went home and wondered, "Lord, what about my healing?"
The Lord reminded him often, saying, "It's not about you."
During this man's time of sickness, God did an amazing work in his heart and healed him of the inner wounds he had received as a child. During this time, the Lord shaped and molded his identity. One day after a particularly awesome time of worship he confessed, "Lord, I love you so much that even if you never heal me... I will still love you more than anything."
That part of his story really struck me. I wonder how many of us who are waiting for our healing could honestly say the same thing. Is our passion for God greater than our desire to be healed? Is it about us, or is it really about Him?
One day he was sitting in a prayer meeting with a group of guys when they decided to pray for the body of Christ separately. They all went to different parts of the building. He was sitting in his chair praying for the church, when suddenly things got a little crazy. He began to feel something like electricity zapping him in the head and he felt something like warm, liquid honey being poured over him. The next thing you know, he was up running through the streets of town completely healed.
In a vision, God showed him a dam with a reservoir behind it. He saw water dripping ever so slowly into the reservoir. Every drop of water that fell brought the water level a little higher until finally, the dam broke. This is how the Lord portrayed his healing. "Every prayer ever prayed for you was like a drop of water in the reservoir. Each one made a difference. Not one prayer was wasted. Now I want you to thank everyone who ever prayed for you."
My new friend has a truly amazing testimony. I've never seen anyone who is so enamored with God. His enthusiasm is off the charts. But it wasn't always that way. He's been through hard times, just like you probably have.
I shared this story to encourage you not to give up on God. He has not given up on you and He never will. Let Him heal you of all the things you need healing from; both physical and emotional. Fall completely in love with Him and let Him show you the love that He has for you and if necessary, wait patiently for your healing to arrive.